So Proud!

Every Wednesday afternoon I go to my gym for two hours. I take a Pilates class and a spin class. When my stepson asked me if he could join me, I thought that two hours seemed like a long time for him to spend at a gym. He said it was no problem because he would play basketball and lift weights. Okay, then, he could come with me.


On the drive to the gym, he shared with me that he was afraid to ask the basketball players if he could join them. He's not always honest about his fears, so I was proud of him for being so open and sharing with me. I told him that I know what it's like to be afraid, and that sometimes you have to push past your fear in order to do the things you want to do. I told him that you can't let fear hold you back. I brought up my fear of public speaking, and how I joined Toastmasters to help me work through that. He said that public speaking didn't scare him at all. I told him that everybody's different, but we all have our fears to deal with. He just kept saying how hard this was for him, that the players were kind of intimidating, but that he really wanted to play. I validated his fears and listened, and then told him that I had faith in his abilities to get in there and play. When we were walking up to the gym, I asked, "Would it be helpful for you if I went in there and asked the guys if you could play?" He stared at me with a horrified look on his face, and adamantly said, "No! That would be so embarrassing!" I just smiled at him, and told him I was just kidding. Can you imagine? A 16 year old's mother figure going into the basketball court to ask if her son can play? Of course I would never do that. However, I was worried about him not pushing past his fear, and therefore not playing. He is quite shy in certain situations and has anxiety, so sometimes he doesn't push himself to do things he's afraid of.


All through my Pilates class I wondered if he got to play. That was weighing on me so much, so between classes I stepped out of the exercise room to use the restroom. When I walked past the big window of the basketball court, I was thrilled to see my stepson running by the window to the opposite end of the court in pursuit of the ball. I was beaming! I had never been more proud of him! I immediately went back into the exercise room to get ready for Spin, and shared with my gym friends how pleased I was to see my stepson playing basketball.


That night, when I asked him how it went at the gym. He said it was great. He just went in there and asked, "So, how does this system work?" Perfect. He said he not only got to play, but he also got a lot of ball time and made a basket. What a great experience for him to have. One that will propel him forward to allow him to not let fear hold him back in the future.


Two days later at the gym, I shared again with one of my gym friends how proud I was of my stepson, that he was able to push past his fear and get in there and play. He said, "I know you are. You're such a typical mom." I am, aren't I? I took that as a compliment. :)